Introduction

Sleep deprivation has become a common issue affecting a large population in the United States and across the world. There are many factors that can contribute to the increase in number of people not getting the right amounts of sleep at night. Such factors can include technology, stress, work, and school. [..}This paper will focus on the effects of sleep deprivation on both adolescents and adults and the effects it has on the brain and body. To do so we will focus on factors such as sleeping patters, technology and its role in keeping people up, and finally stress and the effect on the body.

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3 responses to “Introduction

  1. Summary of Essay: From what I can see, you are focusing on the ongoing issue of sleep deprivation in our fast-paced country. It seems as though you are putting a chunk of the blame on technology. However upon reading your first and last sentence, I have not found a written argument by yourself. In suggestion, I might argue that this problem can be prevented or atleast helped by monitoring how often technology is used on a day to day basis.

    Outline:
    -Intro (Including argument and broad explanation of the problem many people face)
    -Body (This is where you ought to prove your stance by providing either statistics, personal success methods, or other helpful insight proving helpful)
    -Conclusion (Spend a decent amount of time closing your thoughts so you leave the reader with a satisfied, informed mind)

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    • Outline
      1. Introduction
      2. Sleep Patterns
      a. Sleeping Patterns in Adults
      b. Sleeping Patterns in Adolescents
      c. What has lead to the changes
      3. Effects on body
      a. Effects the sleeping patterns above have on the brain and body
      4. The effects technology has had on sleeping habits
      a. How phones in the bedrooms are affecting sleep quality
      b. Sleep patterns before and after phones
      5. Stress and Work
      a. The affects poor sleep has on our work
      i. Productivity
      b. Increasing stress due to poor sleep
      i. Stress keeping us up later
      6. Conclusion

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  2. This was an overall good introduction. I understood what your argument was and what you were going to be addressing in your essay. Maybe you could find a way to combine your two final sentences to make a more condensed thesis statement.

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